before you have sex with me you have to earn it
take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
How snow days work in the Southern US:
8am- cue panicking in the streets, phones ringing off the hook, ppl runnin everywhere, cars flippin over randomly in parking lots
"Uh, we should probly cancel school…"
How I imagine they work in Canada:
8am- cue students migrating across a glacier in snowshoes
"You wanna skip?"
"Yeah, I hear they do it in America all the time. As soon as the weather even thinks about snow everyone flips their shit and kids just skip. Apparently they call it a ‘Snow Day’."
"Whoah, we should probably ask the principal first, as perfect a role-model as American students are."
"Yeah, you’re right."
They ask politely and everyone gets a free holiday.
If anyone ever gets in the car when I’m driving they better have a built-in ear censor or somethin.